Archive for the ‘Dear Diary’ Category

NOV 26 Yet Another Day

Sunday, November 26th, 2017

So, It’s been over a year since I wrote anything. To be perfectly honest, It has been a long and hard year. One year older… Hopefully wiser, but the idea that A year has passed and that everything went downhill so quickly is sometimes astonishing.
Starting with Thanks giving of last year. It was a year where I honestly thought I had everything going for me. I had lost 200 pounds. I got amazing new headshots…. I was on a quest to get a side job that would bring me and someone I loved closer… ok not closer, but we’d be able to see each other easier. I would actually have a steady job that can pay the rent and allow me to do the usual.
Well… It didn’t.
For the first time in a long time I felt my world had started to crumble. Everything I had worked for, was coming unravelled, and I really can’t blame anyone but myself. It started when every company I had interviewed with basically told me in a ery nice way I was overqualified for the position or as is here in America just never returned the call. Then of course it was harder and harder to find acting jobs because I have not been here for ages and people tend to forget in this industry. I did do a couple of projects, but you know… as is with Hollywood … Life happens. and people run out of money, and focuses move on to something else.

That let to a lot of me doing nothing. And eating a lot. And let’s be honest, the lifestyle in Los Angeles is very Anti-Bike riding, unless you are on the beach. So what is a man in his early 40s to do? Well… Gain weight, unless you pay for a gym membership, and even that seems to be so hard to get to, and do. It may seem like an excuse, and it is. In hindsight one can always see that. In the moment. When you are all alone. And your best friend is 8000 miles away. It’s just sad.

Sometimes a person gets caught up in the little things… but who am I kidding? We always get caught up in the little insignificant things. Including someone like me who I think is very sane. But nope… I am Stubborn. Plain and simple. And my stubbornness to dream is sometimes my downfall. I think Once again I forgot what I was gonna write down. But I feel as I do. I realize something. I like to talk about it. Not for anything more than to hear me say it out loud and realize what I need to do next. Give some time to reflect. And this last year was a crap year… Then it got good. But Thanksgiving was here again… And I am not going to make the same mistake I made last year.

I am not gonna let this city get me down. I realize I need to start focusing on the most important thing. ME!